A bowlful of insight
Be grateful there are no photos this time....
I found my head in the toilet 4 more times than normal Monday night. Well, I guess to be completely honest, my head is not IN the toilet normally, but more accurately, hovering above it, weekly, as I give it a thoroughly cleaning.
But let's be clear, on Monday night, my head was IN the toilet. And I put it there. On purpose. Four times.
Vomiting is one of those things that you can't just will away, or pretend not to do- like the risk of brain explosion we assume every time we contain a sneeze. (I'll never understand how you death-defying people do that.) If vomit wants out, it's gonna find a way out, whether the timing is ideal or not.
Hey guys! Real quick. Remember when my first blog was about finding your joy and purpose in life, and rainbows and fuzzy little bunnies and such.... and then you felt inspired to follow my blog and share it with loved ones and friends?? Well, this one is about puke. Whoops. Premature likeage and shareage on your parts, perhaps?
I promise this post is still about conscious living and I pinky swear I will talk about vomit as tastefully as I can. (Although I just put vomit and tastefully in the same sentence so we're already off to a rough start.)
Being healthy is my priority and I take great pride in helping others achieve that as well. One of my street creds is that "I never get sick". I even mentioned that Monday evening at dinner. And then proceeded to barf all night long. The culprit? Food poisoning, I'm guessing. All enlightening food poisoning.
Here are a few of those enlightened thoughts that crossed my mind as I prayed to the porcelain God:
1. "Man, I keep a clean toilet." And luckily my boyfriend has now learned to remove evidence that a penis (and those other man parts) use the toilet too. (You know what I'm talking about, right ladies??) Side note: There was a time when I refused to throw up in toilets. Especially public rest rooms or ones in frat houses. Because we all know not everyone keeps a clean toilet. Instead I used to throw up in sinks. Which doesn't always go so smoothly, as you can imagine. I knew I had made a good friend in college when she was not only willing to hold my hair but also to unclog a sink drain to remove such evidence. I also once (underage) drank too much at a wedding and ran over to what I thought was the row of sinks in the ladies room and proceeded to throw up................. all over the makeup counter :/
2. "My vomit is greener than it's ever been!" I actually took great pride in noticing how prevalent the leafy greens were in the composition. And I would have patted myself on the back, if I wasn't too busy holding my own hair.
3. "If I was a lesbian (and currently dating a woman, as some lesbians are known to do) would she have gotten out of bed to ask if I was okay? Or would she have managed to slumber peacefully despite my death groans and gut wrenching, well, retching- as my boyfriend somehow successfully did?"
4. "I wish I could push a button and make the entire bathroom soundproof." Because not only was my boyfriend in the next room, but catty-cornered in the guest room, was his cousin, whom I had just met, and was spending the night with us. Side note: seriously though, why aren't bathrooms soundproof?? Why is that the one place where we accept the possibility of losing all of our self respect and human decency in front of an entire household, coworkers or friends? Also, is there no better place to put our puke? Why are we still choosing to stick our faces where no faces should go at our most vulnerable and unhealthy moments? Has no inventor ever gotten a bad hangover and figured he could make a few bucks on all of our upchuck?
5. "Being sick sucks." And this is really where the idea of living consciously comes up. We seem to take for granted feeling well until we don't feel well. It isn't until we catch a cold or break a toe that we realize how precious being able to breathe freely or walk with ease is. And sometimes we don't realize that perhaps someone is being rude to us or walking too slowly down the city sidewalks (when we have somewhere sooooo freakin' important to be) because they are suffering in some way.
So this is what living a conscious life does: it creates strength, flexibility and adaptability for your body, mind and spirit so you are prepared when challenges arise. After all, it's that adaptability that ensures survival of the fittest.
Even though I was bummed that my immune system allowed me to get sick in the first place, I was pretty impressed that it quarantined the bug to just my stomach and that by morning, I was totally fine and able to go about my normal routine. I had kicked a stomach bug in less than 8 hours. And without any pharmaceuticals.
So what's the secret? These are the things Voluptuous Life will explore as the blog continues to grow. It involves creating a healthy immune system through good gut bacteria from fermented foods and probiotics. Eating lots of nutrient dense greens to keep inflammation in your body down. Limiting the negative effects toxins have on you through meditation and choosing natural products. So yes, specific tips, tricks, techniques and recipes will be coming soon, as requested. Be sure to like the Facebook page because that's probably where most of it will go down. Which, as you just learned, is way better than having things come up....
Oh OK.... one photo: